Monday, March 29, 2010
Our Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said that a smile is a form of sadaqah (charity). The most natural reaction on a pleasant experience is a form of charity, subhanAllah. Which brings me to the hot question of the day: who gets your smiles?
Do you smile most at the person whom you spend most time with? How about the one you're committed to spend say... your entire lifetime?
The funky thing about a smile is that it can be heard over the telephone and seen through a niqaab, because a smile from within creeps into your eyes and it's simply, undeniably there.
Part of being your husband's Slick Girlfriend is to be his go-to person when he's feeling low, and your most trusted gadget is your smile. Use it wisely.
The next time you have the feeling that a conversation with your spouse is heading towards an undesirable direction, think whether the outcome will even matter to you a month later, or even a week. Make the choice of being happy, over being right. Smile, and feel the ease in tension bi'thnillah.
Use your smile liberally. It's just your husband, what have you got to lose, really?
The Prophet sal Allahu alaiyhi wa sallam said, "I guarantee a house in Jannah for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a home in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners.''
Have you got the gear to be your husband's Slick Girlfriend? Get the moves by clicking here.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
SubhanAllah, something really interesting came up after my, "Date Your Husband" webinar. A portion of single sisters wrote in to explain how the webinar inspired them to take on their forthcoming marriages with a smile and a distinct plan. Another observation that popped up from the single sisters were how newly wed wives tend to lose the spark that they had towards working for their marriage, and resort to missing the days that 'were', so to speak.
JazakumAllahu khayran to all of you sisters who wrote in and shared your reflections in the online survey. One of the questions that pops up now is, "What causes the change in heart?" From thinking of countless ways to have a great marriage bi'thnillah while single, to running short on ideas and patience once you are married?
I usually get my share of, "It's different when you're parents / living with family / have household work to do" and perhaps the most common reply is that of, "When do I get to take a break and have him think for our marriage instead?"
Until a few days ago, I had a separate answer for each question and now I can roll all of the answers into one. The baggage that you carry from each experience does weigh you down from taking a step forward in your marriage.
Each question that begins with, "Yeah, but" has a history to it that you're willing to keep and savor more than the promise of a better marriage bi'thnillah, only because what you already know of is comfortable, and the thought of a different future is… well scary.
So here's my question to you, "Just how much of baggage from the past do you want to lug around for your remaining life, when our Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam told us to be in this world as a mere traveler?" For a mere traveler, you know you're carrying a whole lot around when it slows you down towards your purpose.
Alhamdu lillah as the comments and questions from sisters came streaming in, I became even more glad of my book, "40 Slick Girlfriend Moves" since it's a practical guide to everyday steps that you can take, irrespective of where you are, and who you live with, since these are moves that you can practice on your husband. To have that dreamy boyfriend, you must be a slick girlfriend in the ways he would like you to be, and the rest will come naturally inshaAllah, as it has with me and many other sisters.
The sisters who invested in the book came back with the ways they'll implement in their marriage and I'd recommend it to you only when you are willing to lift that heavy foot from the past and move it ahead, because that, my dear sisters, is what sets the single, idyllic sisters apart from the married ones with a mundane perspective on marriage: your focus.
You can either shed the weight and move ahead now, or tell yourself that wives living in your situation simply cannot be happy, and leave it at that. You are still reading because you know just how incorrect the second statement is.