Charity That Comes Naturally

Our Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said that a smile is a form of sadaqah (charity). The most natural reaction on a pleasant experience is a form of charity, subhanAllah. Which brings me to the hot question of the day: who gets your smiles?

Do you smile most at the person whom you spend most time with? How about the one you're committed to spend say... your entire lifetime?

The funky thing about a smile is that it can be heard over the telephone and seen through a niqaab, because a smile from within creeps into your eyes and it's simply, undeniably there.

Part of being your husband's Slick Girlfriend is to be his go-to person when he's feeling low, and your most trusted gadget is your smile. Use it wisely.

The next time you have the feeling that a conversation with your spouse is heading towards an undesirable direction, think whether the outcome will even matter to you a month later, or even a week. Make the choice of being happy, over being right. Smile, and feel the ease in tension bi'thnillah.

Use your smile liberally. It's just your husband, what have you got to lose, really?

The Prophet sal Allahu alaiyhi wa sallam said, "I guarantee a house in Jannah for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a home in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners.''

Have you got the gear to be your husband's Slick Girlfriend? Get the moves by clicking here.

The Worst Question to Ask Your Husband

I had this epiphany while preparing for my upcoming webinar. The worst possible question any wife can ask her husband would be...

No, it's not, "Does this make me look fat?" although it's been hailed as one for quite some time. There are far worse things to ask in dire situations.

So sisters, the worst question would be,

"How do you think this makes me feel?"

The elements that make this question so disastrous are the very words used in it, and if you were to look closely you would see what I mean. You, think. Me, feel.

You have aptly identified how men function differently from women. Men think. Women feel. If you want your husband to know how you feel, tell him there and then.

Just because he doesn't share his feelings with you doesn't mean you shouldn't either. You may think that speaking out your feelings make you more vulnerable in turn, when the fact remains that doing so will actually evoke the instinctive urge in your husband to watch out for your feelings the next time around.

Give it a shot: the next time you want him to take notice of your feelings, start off your sentence with exactly that: "I feel bored watching the game for so long with you," or, "I felt hurt when you said ____" Speaking of your feelings first gives him the breathing space to react accordingly, as opposed to starting a sentence with, "You (should, ought, didn't, and so on)."

Owning up to your feelings will encourage your husband to speak about his in turn, and in case he says, "I think" in the instances where you say, "I feel," know that his word usage is different from yours and his heart is pretty much in the same place as yours is.

Replace the worst question to ask your husband with the best compliment you can give him: the ease with which you can speak of your feelings to him and you will visibly notice the change in him inshaAllah, as you will in your own relaxed body language, tone of voice and focus on the positive.