InshaAllah you will find this blog useful. To learn more about relationship coaching for Muslim wives, go to my website

Saturday, February 20, 2010

The "Undo Send" Option

I'm a huge fan of Google's email services because of the little tweaks that they have to offer in the, "Labs" section. For example, take the "Undo Send" feature, which gives you a grace period of 2-3 seconds to hit, "Undo" in case you hastily sent an incomplete or incorrect email.

How cool would that be in real life, to have those few seconds to take back what you said, before it actually reaches the addressee?

While reading up for my next webinar I read up an invaluable excerpt that mirrored my personal experiences and also those that I had heard from sisters around me as well: wives usually have two ways to get work out of their husbands, the first step is that of saying it with kindness, of asking with a smile, a please and a thank you. If that doesn't get the work done then most wives feel vulnerable to say it again with the same amount of warmth, so they resort to speaking roughly or repeatedly until the job gets done. Psst... this is when the wives become the naggers and the husbands, the disgruntled spouses.

Our Prophet Muhammad sal Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam said, "A man might speak a word without thinking about its implications, but because of it, he will plunge into the Hellfire further than the distance between the east and west."

Alhamdu lillah, all of us are innately created with the, "Undo Send" button that Google has just recently replicated in an email service. Our ability to think out our statements, being our own 'Word Editors' saves us from a whole lot of trouble for this world and the next.

Maybe nagging will help you get the work done once, twice or even more than that. It's just that once your husband does something for you, only to have you not tell him again, the weary association that he will have with helping you out will be hard to replace.

What are the ways you can ask your husband to spread out the wet towel to dry? What other ways can you think of, that includes a word of encourage and appreciation for the things he does get right without any prompting?

The APT approach that I mentioned in my, "Own Your Marriage" webinar is a sure-short way of sealing in a good habit, bi'thnillah. Appreciate, praise and thank your husband for all that he gets right and he will want to think up of more ways to get more of where that came from!

I'm going to aim higher than I started out with, I figure I don't need the, "Undo Send" option if I am my best 'Word Editor' inshaAllah.

May Allah instill barakah in all that you do for His sake.


Anonymous said...

great post:)

saliha said...

Fab sis, love the presentation of this blog, very cute.

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